Dylan wears...

Dylan wears a mock turtleneck sparkle sweater. 

This must be what it felt like when God died.

Brenda tries to out ugly him, and WINS. 

Romance rears its head...

Brenda and Dylan are having the "Im a virgin / Yeaaaaaa, I'm not" talk, and Brenda is impressed with the fact that Dylan will have an AIDS test to have sex with her. -SWOON- Brenda is awfully frazzled for a girl who barely has made out with this dude, and in her first episode ended up at the house of some 25 year old yo-pro. 

McKay Moment #3405669569-  After some heavy petting sesh at the Walsh house, Dylan is met with Jim coming home early from work, which he narrowly sneaks out on (he could have/should have just snuck that jealous toolbox Jim). THEN, Dylan goes back, and Cindy welcomes him with open arms.  P. I. M. P.

Jim Walsh on...

Dylan McKay.

"In my experience, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." 

(after being really disgusted by the fact that dylan's dad is a winner who made some money unapologetically in his day. SORRY JIM YOU LOSER)

Jim's daughter aka Brenda dresses like a 65 year old woman...

Now Dylan is crying in a post "D.V. lash out" rage... ew.

Why I'm a Dylan Man

Dylan brings it. Every day, every look. He makes girls feel inadequate, let alone other dudes. I'd be shocked if Brandon doesn't have to check to make sure one of his nuts didn't rescind into his lower intestine after a hang sesh with the McKay. 

One instance in this episode sums up everything that is Dylan McKay in a nifty package is his first interaction with Brenda Walsh. Kelly "Smokin Hot" Taylor comes up, sliding over in her own drool, Brenda "bagface" Walsh comes on the rear. Kelly flirts, Dylan reciprocates in a subtle but tasteful way that leaves both girls digging him, shoots Brenda a quick look and vibes her, JUST enough to get Kelly all wild. 

Does Steve have the nutsack or eloquence to pull off such a move? Nah. I like Steve's jock style, but let's be real. He pulls chicks on his status, and that's cool. But Dylan is swatting them away and has time to ponder the finer things in one hour television life, like karma and surfing. and weird science machines that are going to conquer the future (which is where Scott Scanlon has been).

Tell me a little bit about Beverly Hills

Everyone has a maid - the difference between rich and poor in Beverly Hills is that rich people maids dress like maids and poor people (read: The Walsh's) maids wear crappy clothes.

It's acceptable to wear floral print everything and or blu-niforms ( Brenda loves a blu-niform). 

No one has attentive parents and everyone hates themselves for it. The richer (read: cooler) you are, the less parents you have. 

Poor people think stealing is wrong, and rich people think stealing is just buying things without giving the stores money. You decide who is right, and then shove your morals up your poor ass. 

McKay Moment #2 - Dylan eats at the restaurant that Brandon is doing an "undercover" on, that employs immigrants and pays them less than minimum wage. He doesn't care, he's just hungry. Can't a man eat? 

Episode II: Return of Scott Scanlon

This episode was nice, especially after the 90 minute douchepill that was the pilot. Everyone is more likeable (including Steve!) and it feels better rounded, everyone more comfortable in their roles. Dylan adds to the episode but he as a complex character is confusing. He's a typical deep surfer type who misses his mommy and daddy. WAH. 

Best McKay Moment #1 - Dylan busts out fluent French while calling his parents. 

Best Incestuous Brenda/Brandon Moment #1 - They close the episode embracing and doing some bullshit down the hallway. If I ever went to school with a sibling, I'd do my best not to even look them in the eye, let alone associate. Sorry sister, but I know you'd have it no other way.

SCOTT SCANLON UPDATE

- still hates jocks

- has narrowly recovered his Lakers hat (with his name embroidered on it) from S.Sanders corvette 

- has worn L.A. Lakers gear at every possible turn. I feel like I'm going to see a Michael Cooper jersey pretty soon

- has already established himself as a Milhouse to David Silver's Bart: Though involved in multiple Steve/David convo's, David does NOT introduce him, nor does Steve acknowledge his presence. He just stands there, oggling them both, in some sort of Uatu meets Paul Pfeifer zone. 

next episode...

Dylan's got that Supertouch

His surfer dirtbag friends are a lost element of this show. Very rarely were any of the extreneous friends shown (Steve's jock friends, David Silver's dork friends) and they are almost always the best of every crummy stereotype possible. One of Dylan's dirtbag friends has a Bad Brains patch on his denim jacket, and Brandon is enticed by the burnt surfer chick. This is a rare breed that actually exists, I guarantee this girl, and others of her species, all have the most leathery of leather skin that may be the most unattractive female trait possible. 

Burnt surfer chick and dirtbag friends feel very authentic. Also Brandon's babyish reaction to being called "Minnesota" is very believable. Brandon sorta loses points with me here, Grow a sack MINNESOTA.