Episode 22. Moving back to the midwest.

Jim gets a promotion that requires the family to move back to that hicktown they crawled out of. The family votes to stay because they've tasted the apple and can't go back to ignorance. But Jim tells them to fuck themselves- they are moving.

Steve sort of ambles out of the closet this episode by revealing how hurt he is by Brandon leaving. Andrea sort of ambles out of her CHUD sewer hole and tries to fuck Brandon on some last-minute desperation shit.

You can't handle THIS brandon walsh

Brandon is drunk and hilarious, as he slips the Zuck some tongue - she claims to have attended an "excellent" play - psh yeah right, what are you, a THOUSAND YEARS OLD? Drunk driving seems pretty glamorous and BOOM - Brandon t-bones some truck. 

What's less fun than drunk driving? How about a little wife swapping in palms springs! Jim seems into it but Cindy shoots it down. So far this episode has had frisky parents, drunk sex with Kelly and Steve, Brandon gets drunk for the first time, Brenda looks disgusting, aforementioned failed wife swap, (sober) Kelly shuts down Steve, Brandon gets drunk again and goes for the true joyride, house is trashed,  Jim and Cindy are disappointed. 

Have they ever thought that they are just terrible parents? The blame finger is pushed in everyone's face except their own, and this is the 3020495847 example so far. 

Also, why are they so surprised Brandon has decided drinking is cool? He is an American male age 14+ . So he got bummed the first time he got trashed and said drinking is wack, and now that he can get some tail and unwind from kicking back a drink you think he's NOT going to? cmonnnnnnn

ps 2/3 grown men doing this don't drink so take that American value systems

Episode 4. More.

This girl is trying to rope my dude Brandon into a mantrap, mark my words. This hillbilly from Minnesota saw what a good thing the Walsh's had here in Beverly Hills and wants in. She put holes in the condom, I guarantee it. She wants this love child because it's a paycheck. This is a shady ho, no doubt, but that doesn't justify Cindy Walsh player hating. She was actively trying to cockblock my man and had to be shut down by Big Jim who had to explain to her that a dude's gonna do what a dude's gonna do.

Is Dylan trying to get in there? Is he trying to smash this Minnesota hayseed? If I were Brandon I would let him go with it and then pin the baby on him. Dodge the mantrap, homie.