Episode 8. Oh Donna

Most poorly defined character in the 9-0-universe has got to be Donna. This first season she is really just an amorphous blob of a character. She has about five lines of dialogue this season and three of them have been repeating things Kelly said seconds earlier.

So what is she? A toady? Or does she have her own voice, hidden somewhere beneath those giant stupid hats?

Sometimes she wears overtly sexual outfits and other times it seems her born-again Christian grandmother dressed her. Is this a person who wants to be seen? Or a person trying to hide?

I want to know.

I'm going to say something crazy here. Something some of our readership won't agree with:
Donna is my favorite. I would be apt to sleep with her over these other girls. I said it and I stand by it. Is she gross? Maybe. Maybe she's gross. But there is something inside her I want to know.

Especially after the implants. That shit is a confirmed kill.

Episode 7. Why does Andrea have such a chip on her shoulder?

35 seconds into this episode and I'm already pissed. Why is Andrea so miserable? Seriously. Why? Everything is "THE PAPER!!!" and "I'M FROM OUT-OF-DISTRICT!! DO YOU KNOW HOW THAT FEELS!? NO, YOU COULDN'T! BECAUSE YOU ARE RICH AND HAVE NO PROBLEMS!!" and all that shit. She gives me hives on my brain. Stop talking.

In other news, the producers replaced Kelly's mom with a new actress. This one looks pretty spot-on for a desperate alcoholic twice-divorcee. Meanwhile, Cindy is back on her old bitch-grind. She hates Kelly's mom for lounging around a pool sporting tastefully sized implants. Sorry, Cindy, not everyone wants to wear those wide-in-the-shoulder floral-print table cloths you rock.